For many years, I’ve talked about sexuality with hundreds—perhaps even thousands—of people. Some came to me to improve their relationship, others because they had lost their sexual desire, others because they had never experienced an orgasm, and many simply needed a place where they could talk without feeling judged.
After all those conversations, I’ve come to a conclusion that may surprise you: most people don’t have a sexual problem; they have a sexual education problem.
We’re taught mathematics, languages, and history, but almost nobody teaches us how to understand our bodies, express our feelings, or experience our sexuality naturally. We grow up believing that sex is something we have to perform well, as if someone were constantly judging us.
And believe me, that’s not how it works.
It’s something I see every day
Whether in my in-person sessions or through online sex coaching, many people begin by saying, “I think I have a problem.” Then I ask them a very simple question: Who made you believe that this is a problem?
Most of the time, they stop and think. No one had ever asked them that before.
I’ve met men who believe they must maintain a perfect erection, women who feel they should always reach orgasm, and couples convinced their relationship is failing because they no longer feel the same level of desire they had years ago.
Very often, there isn’t a sexual problem. There are unrealistic expectations and far too much comparison.
My goal has never been to help you have more sex
It may sound strange coming from a Sex Coach, but I’ve never wanted to teach you how to have more sex. What truly matters to me is helping you enjoy it in a healthier, more authentic way.
To me, a fulfilling sex life isn’t measured by quantity but by the freedom to express what you want, set boundaries, enjoy yourself without guilt, and feel comfortable in your own body.
Once you achieve that, everything begins to change.
Desire changes, and that’s perfectly normal
I often hear people say, “I used to have much more desire.”
My answer is always the same: that’s completely normal.
We change. Our bodies change. Our priorities change. And the way we experience pleasure changes too. We can’t expect sexual desire to remain exactly the same throughout our lives.
Accepting those changes doesn’t mean giving up pleasure. It means discovering new ways to enjoy it.
What truly makes someone special
After all these years, I can honestly say that the people I remember the most were never the ones who claimed to know everything.
They were the ones who listened, asked questions, respected others, and genuinely cared about the person in front of them.
I’ve always believed that sex is a shared experience, not a competition.
Sexual education matters far more than pornography
Many people expect me to say that pornography is the biggest problem. I don’t see it that way.
The problem begins when pornography becomes the only way someone learns about sex. Real life is much simpler, much more imperfect, and also much more beautiful.
People hesitate, laugh, talk, change their minds, need time, and learn together. That’s also part of a healthy sexuality.
What I love most about my work
There’s one moment that still moves me after all these years working as a Sex Coach. It’s when someone finally stops feeling broken.
When a person realizes they don’t have to be like anyone else, that they can live their sexuality in their own way and stop comparing themselves to others.
I’m not here to tell you how you should live your sexuality. My job is to support you as you discover what truly works for you, without fear, without guilt, and with much more freedom.
Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that sexuality begins long before we take our clothes off. It starts with the way we see ourselves, the way we speak to ourselves, and the permission we give ourselves to enjoy life by simply being who we are.
