A man tells his doctor (or his sex coach or sexologist):. “Hello, I have a problem; I don’t have the libido that I had before nor does it get as hard as it used to.
Cristina’s response: Hello! Welcome to the world of women
Women began to have sex without pleasure and the majority with pain. We learn to enjoy the pleasure of sex with practice. However, men learn to make sex with pleasure, so when they don’t have pleasure, they think they have a problem.
How many women fuck without pleasure and do not complain.
This is the theory of my sexuality. There will be women who identify themselves and others who will not.
By nature, the man must always be prepared to procreate and the woman a few days of the month.
That must be why men get turned on just by looking and women don’t.
There are women who need a little alcohol to stimulate them or an erotic massage for example. We need something to turn us on, but just like that, we are not that easy. However, the man is that he is turned on only by the sight.
Then comes the dilemma, when the man reaches a certain age that results in him losing that libido and then he begins to be like the woman who has to make more effort to initiate sex without desire. It is when you have to dedicate more time to the preliminaries, to what would be called, the excitement stage.
It is clear that each time it can be more difficult for something to excite us and surprise us, but not because of that, we have a libido problem.
As well as, that it does not get hard. Do your legs work the same at 20 as they do at 50 or do you have the same hair?
Let’s not pretend at 50, 60 years, to be like at 20. It is totally illogical.
Yes, sometimes you get that excitement, but other times you don’t.
There will be a small percentage that surely his sexual trajectory is different and/or his genetics and anatomy is different. Since not everyone develops cancer.
But the norm is that our bodies stop producing thousands of substances that when we are young generate themselves.
We seem to understand it in most types of disease but when it comes to libido and orgasm, we don’t want to relate it to age nor do we want to see it. We want that excitement and orgasmic sensitivity that was so easy at 15, 20 years old.
For many, it can be frustrating not to have the same sexuality as when you were young, however, others say that, what a relief not to be horny all day.
I’m sure there are many other things that are different from when you were young. Accept it, your body is changing.
And if you are one of those that does not happen to you, then congratulations on your genetics and/or anatomy.
Not all bodies are the same. We don’t have the same noses, nor do we all have myopia, etc.
Nothing really happens because your libido is not as you would like and your penis is not as hard as you would like. Well yes, if it happens, I understand that one wants it, but I am sorry to tell you that it is something that we do not control, it is natural.
Maybe it doesn’t get as hard as before, but I repeat, don’t see it as a problem. Learn to give and receive pleasure in another way and do not rely on an erect penis and penetration.
We women have learned to get excited without libido, we know how to lift penises and we know how to get our pleasure when we want.
Also over the years, we are teaching and/or accustoming our brain to the pleasure of orgasms and that is when it begins to become like adding sugar, that the more you give to your body, the more it wants.
But women when we have a busy life and we don’t have time to think about sex, it’s that we don’t even look for it because the body doesn’t ask us for it, we don’t care. We even forget.
Because we have a partner or whoever asks us to, then we force ourselves; that must be recognised, which we later appreciate. A good accompanied orgasm from time to time is super rewarding.
Yes, people who have a lot of sex have a high libido because they have used the brain to give them an orgasm every day and it says it wants one, like with the desire of chocolate.
This is how one becomes addicted to sex, giving pleasure and an orgasm every day.
But when there is no libido then you have to learn to get excited. Which is what many people don’t know how to do.
They think it’s better to take a pill prescribed by their doctor or dress like a whore.
When there is no libido you have to know how to excite. Let’s see who excites more.
That’s what I do in my sessions.
I seek your excitement and you must seek mine.
That’s how you do great sex, taking time for arousal, not going straight into it. Or the woman directly wants to put it in and she manages to stress the man because he doesn’t have it hard yet.
One thing you know well men.
Women have endured and many continue to endure when men put it in without arousing and have sex without pleasure, suffering and desire. Many endure and have endured until death.
The man, however, is that fucking without pleasure doesn’t even cross his mind. There are no thoughts of suffering in the head of a man.
The man with that thing that he has to have an orgasm to make a baby, has not known and will never know the suffering of poorly done sex.
Men have always had pleasure and they have not had to suffer as many of us have done and many still continue to suffer. Especially in my profession. (For not having an education and an open mind about sexuality)
Women are deflowered with pain and we have had sex without pleasure thousands of times. Do you hear us complain?
Men are not used to it and that’s why when they don’t have pleasure and excitement they think they have a problem.
But it’s not a problem, it’s learning to have more active sex.
As a man, you have learned sexuality with libido and pleasure. Now that you don’t have so much libido and pleasure, learn how women have had to learn to give without receiving.
Learn to turn us on, They should teach this in school.
Kissing, caressing, knowing how to touch the clitoris well and knowing how to insert the fingers well into the vagina or anus, always salivating or lubricating in the woman. In man the same, but with his penis.
You have to look for that excitement, which is not the same for everyone. We each have our own way. It is observing, listening to the breath. Even asking. What do you like? Not all of us like the same thing.
Fortunately, we are all learning.
If you don’t know how to do it, forgive me for saying it like this: I don’t know why you are waiting to know how to touch and excite a person.
We all know how to touch and arouse each other! I tell you that men and women are not so different in sex; it’s just that we have different anatomies and more estrogen instead of more testosterone and a very different upbringing.
The rest has been invented by the human being.
That we are totally different, is a lie!
We feel the same orgasmic pleasure.
We both feel it, man and woman in our genitals.
The man in the prostate, penis and all those erogenous points that are located in the lower part of the body and the woman in the vagina, the anus and the clitoris.
The man’s is called the prostate and penis and the woman’s vagina and clitoris. The same, but with different forms and names.
Many men and women are missing out on the pleasure of the prostate and anus because psychologically they don’t admit it.
I am convinced that the nerve endings that we have in the clitoris and that generate that physical pleasure that we call orgasm, are the same in the prostate.
And all those roles of submission, domination and psychological arousal that humans have invented, I see as a business. They are even causing not to give the necessary attention to the simple practice of knowing how to stimulate well all those internal and external nerve endings that make you reach that much desired and sought-after internal taste that it is; orgasm and climax.
For me to get that incredible internal physical orgasm; I have to admit, that in addition to a person with his penis or her fingers in my vagina or anus, I need my sex toy in my clitoris and a few good marijuana puffs.
If you know how to turn me on, with my clitoral toy and a joint before, my physical orgasmic pleasure is incredible, magical.
Thank you science and nature.
As I already said one day. I would give a Nobel Prize for science to all those people who have invented those vibrating and suction sex toys that have made women have incredible orgasms.
I pity the woman who says she doesn’t need it. Then she will never know orgasm to her fullest.
A piece of advice: do not think or say that you do not like or need something if you have never tried it.
Cris Blas
Practical sex life coach
