“From an embryonic development standpoint, ovaries and testicles come from the same tissue.
Testicles produce sperm and testosterone. Ovaries produce eggs and estrogen/progesterone. So yeah, biologically they’re essentially the ‘same part in a different spot.’
You could say ovaries are like testicles, but they’re ‘safer’ tucked inside the body.
The pain can be just as real and just as intense; the only difference is that the ovaries are more protected.
Tell me honestly: now that you see it this way, can you start to grasp the pain of forceful penetration for a woman? Put yourself in her shoes and imagine getting a hard knock to your own balls.
We’re the same, just with different plumbing.
For too long, intensity has been confused with violence. We’ve normalised a way of ‘making love’ that, honestly, has very little love and way too much ego, imitation, and performance.
Men have been taught—by porn, by other men, or by the fear of not measuring up—that desire is shown by dominating, pushing, imposing.
And meanwhile, we’ve learned to endure. To fake it. To check out of our bodies just to not feel the pain or the emptiness. But nah, that ain’t pleasure. It’s a form of colonisation of the female body, wrapped up in the word ‘sex.’
The female body isn’t built to take a beating; it’s built to feel. And when force replaces connection, the pleasure just vanishes.
Most men can’t even handle a brush of pain on their own bodies, but they expect a woman to just tolerate violent, cold penetrations with no rhythm or listening. That’s not shared pleasure; it’s a learned imposition.
And the worst part: it’s so normalized that many women think that’s what they have to accept so they don’t lose the guy, or so they don’t seem ‘boring.’
Porn doesn’t teach eroticism; it teaches performance. It has turned the female body into a testing ground and the male body into an actor who measures his power by strength, not sensitivity.
But real pleasure isn’t demonstrated; it’s shared. It isn’t in the power of the thrust; it’s in the presence, the listening, the genuine connection. And that—even if it seems less spectacular—is what truly leaves a mark.
This isn’t about assigning blame; it’s about re-educating our sexuality. It’s about teaching that tenderness and slowness aren’t weakness—they’re real pleasure.
Sex shouldn’t have to hurt. It shouldn’t be a war. We don’t have to put up with it. And anyone who needs to inflict pain to get off isn’t looking for pleasure; they’re looking for power.
💫 My Message
I’ve been a witness to, and part of, this collective confusion. That’s why I’m saying it loud and clear today: ‘I don’t wanna put up with it; I wanna enjoy it.’
That is the real sexual awakening. It happens when we stop performing what’s expected of us and start feeling what we actually want.
The sad thing is, I get a lot of clients who think I’m a floja (softie/lightweight) and that I can’t handle rough sex. What they don’t get is that they haven’t got a clue about female pleasure.
Oh! And a lot of women don’t even know their own pleasure, just like I didn’t for years.
And here’s the thing, we’re not all the same—just like not everyone loves the same food. You gotta figure out what she likes to take her to a place you know she’ll rave about. If you take her to just any restaurant without asking, that nice gesture might just turn into a…
..culinary disaster that ruins the whole damn night.”
…awkward chore where she has to pretend she’s loving it.”
…sign that you really weren’t paying attention to what matters to her.”
…wasted chance to make a perfect memory.”
…clear message that you care more about the gesture than the person.”
Cristina Blas, Sex Coach specializing in positive sexuality
