When I left Madrid 6 years ago, I left with the purpose of becoming trilingual in Spanish, French and English.
My friends laughed and didn’t see me capable, not because I wasn’t capable, but because they saw it as something very difficult and even more so at 42 years of age.
A friend asked me after three years of being away, how I was doing with my «trilingualism». I imagine that she thought: «I don’t see it, you must get off your high horse » and to relax myself with my purpose, I answered her: «Well, reaching the level of being fluent and advancing in a language, is enough for me.
Now I’m chopped and I want to get it. With all these tools that we have online, becoming more advance in a language is a matter of time and money. Also with the pandemic, the virtual world of learning has accelerated.
Being trilingual is a matter of living around three languages.
An accent when you start studying when you are older, I would say that it is impossible, not to have an accent.
To be trilingual, I calculated what studies are like, like starting a university degree. Between university and master, there are about 10 years more or less.
So that was my project; be away for 10 years and then return to Spain and buy a house. Where in Spain? Well, according to my budget, I would see where.
Of course, what you thought 6 years ago, with what is happening to you and with all those thoughts that go through your head, you change your opinion hundreds of times.
In all these years my head has been full and crazy. To think of plans. Now I am working on not thinking about future plans. It is a waste of time and at the same time creates anxiety at times.
To endure the loneliness of the first years, that radical change in social life, to not having a social life that was hard, I turned to marijuana and we already know that with marijuana many more thoughts arise. Too many!
Well, not only did I smoke marijuana to better cope with loneliness but also because it makes me feel orgasms more.
In these six years, thousands of things have happened and mainly I have been in Paris. I have moved through London, Brighton, Worthing, and Malta. I’ve done the 90 days in Switzerland three or four times, been in Zurich and Geneva and I’ve been to Los Angeles twice.
The truth is that the tours are not bad, I am not yet trilingual, but I am enjoying the experience.
Right now I am in Madrid, it was not my intention, but because of certain people in my life, I think I have to be here.
These people are my parents.
My mother is in bed with five herniated discs, which she cannot move and my father takes care of her, but in his own way.
Both have strong characters and speak badly to each other.
My mother is the result of the indications of specialist doctors: traumatologists and psychiatrists. She has depressive episodes and she is always in pain. So we put together two types of medication but now turns out to be that my mother has early Alzheimer’s according to the doctor and my family.
They believe the diagnosis because they believe everything the doctors tell them.
I thought from the beginning that my mother had a reality disorder, like the ones I have had on several occasions.
Of course, telling my father that, he thinks I’m a smartass and I have no idea and the only ones who know are the doctors.
Taking so much medication and being in bed for so many hours, practically not going out, is when you start to mix all kinds of thoughts, dreams and realities.
As soon as she wakes up in the morning she takes 8 pills and my father sees it as normal. He says that the doctors have prescribed it for her and she should take them.
Neither my mother doesn’t think about stopping the medication, she is totally addicted to them. She is afraid to give them up and also she does not want to give them up because they help her sleep and she wants to sleep. She doesn’t miss me. Her roommate, my father; If you don’t do the things like he wants, at the time he wants and when he wants, he will get into a rage.
So it’s no wonder she wants to be high all day and sleep.
Well here, I am in the family home.
I would like to show you that you don’t have to pay so much attention to doctors and more to listen to yourself and learn from yourself.
They are from the generation that believes what a doctor says is the gospel truth. It is right and proper.
I suffer from hernias and mental disorders like my mother. For me doctors and medications I only use when absolutely necessary. Just enough not to abuse and what is necessary to help my quality of life.
It is clear that this abusive market for pills is also very much the fault of the patients, who do not stop complaining and saying that they have pain. The doctors, for not listening to the patients, prescribe them and then the patients go home with a packet full of medication.
I was sick of hearing from my mother on the phone how unhappy she is and how badly they treat each other at home and that’s why I decided to come for about three months and then more often to see if with my presence and my general self I can please my mother and help her. I’ve been with them for four weeks, with a six-day hiatus that I was in Ibiza and since I’ve been here every day it is a bit of an ordeal with my father. Luckily it’s not an all-day ordeal, but times of the day are uncomfortable, including to the point that my father, with his answers, ends up concluding that I leave his house.
He get angry very quickly with those who don’t live with him and wants his own way and does not have any kind of tolerance for anyone else and on top of that, he treats you in a bad way.
I know that later he gets over it, but when he is so angry his words are harmful and he likes to throw things in your face like all my parents’ fights have always been.
Now I have been away from that house for many years and that way of treatment and returning to what I experienced before is not in my plans.
My mother emotionally blackmails me. The problem is she wants everything clean and perfect. If everything is clean and perfect, then everything is ok but if not she moans, shouts and cries. She then says that everything hurt and she can’t do it. She commands me to do it.
I have proposed to my father that a friend come to do a general cleaning, which is her job and she earns money and everyone is then happy. But my father doesn’t understand this expense and says that no one comes to clean his house.
So how is having to clean the house? Me! I also end up with back pain, since I have 2 herniated discs. I am also in three online academies and what I least want to do in my free time is general cleaning.
My mother and I are obsessives cleaners, so if we can’t do it ourselves, we pay for it, but my absurd father doesn’t want that extra expense. If other expenses are important to him, he does not skimp. He skimps for what interests him. And he doesn’t see it, because he is one of those who believe that what he thinks is correct. He thinks only of himself and pleasing others and annoying himself, it doesn’t even exist in his mind, it never existed.
So living in the family home means accepting my father’s rules, who sometimes seems like a dictator, and on the other hand, accepting my mother’s emotional blackmail.
My mother and father are those who only listen to television and doctors and what the rest of us who live all over the world do, they have no idea.
My parents, like people most of their age who have been together their entire lives, can’t stand each other and after 53 years they haven’t learned to tolerate, know and respect each other. Quite the opposite. They badmouth each other, they say the wrong things and then continue as if nothing happened until the next fight. They have been like this for years and years.
I would love for the situation to change, for them to talk to each other better and respect each other more.
Let’s see if my online coaching classes where we do practical classes every week, help me deal with the situation and improve it.
This is my family coach project.
The thing is that I like to come to Madrid and be close to my family and friends and come to their house from time to time, it’s a good option. The house is big, everyone has their independence. I have yoga 4 min walk away, Crossfit 6 min by motorcycle and a good internet connection. I don’t need more to be comfortable and to be able to study.
Renting something in Madrid, I refuse, having my parents’ house and living here.
The idea is to be close to them and I continue my routine life.
I also rest from my Escort job, I disconnect more. Not having a place to attend and only making trips, the work is less, but for me, it is enough. And so I rest and I gain more enthusiasm when I leave.
Let’s see the result of three months of coexistence.
Kisses.
Cris Blas
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